Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Hatin On City Women...

I know it's been a hot minute since my last entry and ya'll been dyin fo mo updates, but your girls been busy. Busy hatin the city that is...

The worst part bout livin in a damn city is the women! I was at a produce stand last weekend and had a lil run in with this chick in a Mercedes. I had just paid for my damn tomatoes when this lady behind me saw a rooster at the produce stand. She started flippin shiz bout how cool this one lil rooster was. She went runnin to her Mercedes, SUV no doubt, and grabbed lil Billy out the damn car. She's draggin him over to this rooster sayin, "Billy that is a real rooster and we are on a real farm". Are you friggen kiddin me??? No shit sherlock that it's a real rooster, Billy has eyes! The thing that annoyed me most was when she said that the produce stand was a real farm. I don't know what farms she's seen (obvi none) but they had one rooster, ONE! Plus it legit is a long table with produce and covered with a canvas top! Where I'm from a farm is at least 25 acres and has more then one damn rooster! Did I mention this stand is next to the freakin freeway???? Yep thats right, the freeway on ramp is one block away!

Lesson Of The Day: To see a real farm, refer to the picture above!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Hatin On Insane-ions...

Once again it's been ages since I've been on this damn blog, but ya'll are prob used to it by now. I am totes a flake and I've decided to embrace it. Anyways, I've created a new word..."Insane-ion". It's an insane person, possibly psychotic, with a dash of perv, mixed with a crazy fetish or two.

I was checkin out my analytics page to see if peeps still visit me eventhough I've been MIA. I'm still gettin a pretty dope crowd checkin me out, but I noticed I'm gettin a lot of attention from Insane-ions. I checked out the keywords people were usin to get to my page and a majority of them were from "vajazzle" and "pejazzle". There was one Insane-ion that found me with the keyword "HOW TO VOMIT ON A LADY". Are you f'ing me right now? Who the hell searches for that? Oh yea, an insane-ion would, or maybe a creeper. I have no idea how come my blog comes up when you search for vomitten on a lady, I don't recall ever writin about that shiz. Anyways, homie stayed on my blog for 30 mins. It said he/she visited 4 of my different what I would give to find out which ones!!! I must say though, I am quite flattered that someone would stay on my lil ole blog for that long, so thank you kind sir! If you want to expose yourself to me, you can anytime!

Lesson Of The Day: All visitors are good visitors...especially insane-ions with fetishes that visit for almost an hour!!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Hatin On The VMA's...

*sigh* another month has passed that your girl didn't blog once! A lot has been goin on in the world of hate....I started a healthy eatin lifestyle and workout regime. Honestly, it's been kicken my arse and I haven't been able to think about anything else but FOOD...hence no bloggin. Anyways, I am now 32 pounds and 28 inches please all of you single, taken, and bi-sexual men out there, holla at-a girl. You can find me at the Mc D's drive thru window, I'll be the one that is freely passin out her number to all men in my surroundin area.

Today I am hatin on the VMA's. I did not watch them this year since the show it sooo bogus and just an excuse for celebs to try and be as outrageous as possible. I did however watch some of the clips online. For all of you Ca Ca fans out there, I don't get it...what is your obsession with this creature? All he/she is, is a damn spectacle. Completely gettin all dragged out, for what??? To show off her acting skills...major fail! Her huge dialogue before her performance put me to sleep. If you're gonna pretend to be a dude, at least change your damn singin voice. Not to mention when she was givin the award to B. Spears, she took all of home girls speech time just to try and Spears to make out with her. Sorry honey, but B. Spears has a little more class then that. Plus who knows where Ca Ca's mouth has been, she's a dirty sloot. Bruno Mars rocked it, but unfortunately I don't like cocaine addicts. Jay Z and Kanye were horrible. Numerous times they were rappin over one another, what a damn disaster. They they were flashin the damn Illuminati symbol...the funny thing is, idiots in the crowd were flashin the illuminati symbol to. Ya'll, look it up...that triangle symbol ya'll are flashin is not somethin Jay Z made up, it's the "all seeing eye". F'ing tards. Beyonce...also an illuminati...not only sucked at performin, but her song sucked to. Way to make another spectacle by showin off your damn baby bump. Home girl, I've seen your body and you are gonna be fat as a mo fo after you have that kid. Don't expect to bounce back after birth without some damn lipo.

Lesson Of The Day: This is for you Justin Bieber...leave your snake at home until it gets bigger cause you looked like a friggin panzy with that lil worm on your hand.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Hatin On Teens...

Yet another reason I don't have kids....they turn into teens...teens that murder you with a damn hammer. Ya'll this teen (Tyler Hadley) who will now be charged as an adult, killed his parents and then left their bodies locked in the master bedroom. He then decided to throw a damn house party and invited 40-60 guests. One of those guests gave an annonymous tip about the parents still being in the house. Hence the reason the cops showed up at the front door where the lil pussy was all nervous and panicky. When the parents were found they were in the master bedroom, partially covered with household items and a hammer between them...which is suspected to be the murder weapon.

Is the world f'ing with me??? Why in the hell did this lil punk find it necessary to kill his parents?? Damn dude, you should've just run away if they were that terrible, but murder??? Son you are lucky Harlem isn't yo momma, cause I woulda bust your ass if you came at me with a hammer.

Lesson Of The Day: I don't know how many times I have to say it ya'll...DO NOT HAVE KIDS!

P.S. Today's post will not have a picture as I do NOT want this lil shits picture anywhere on my site...if you're curious, google him.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Hey Tokyo....Are ya'll for realz????

This may be old news to some of you nerdz, but your girl doesn't get out much. There is a fad in Tokyo called the Bagel Head, I guess it's been around for a year or so. Anyways, please try not to projectile vomit on your neighbor....

A Bagel Head is someone who injects their forehead with saline while they depress the center of their forehead. The saline slowly drips in for two hours and will form the shape of a bagel. Your head bagels can even be shaded blue or green with food coloring and molded into any shape. This fine young man in the photo above wanted a perfect replica of his ass on his forehead. These saline injections aren't permanent and only last for 24 hours. So far everyone who has created this look has had no adverse affects and their skin has returned back to normal the next day...if you ask me I think stretching out your forehead would eventually cause premature wrinkles....yuk!

Question for the crazies out there....Will Lady CaCa try to take the credit for this fad, I mean she did start the whole bone prosthetic movement...fortunately Gaga, no one was Born This Way!

Lesson Of The Day: Foreign objects should NOT be injected into the body.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Hatin On Off Leash Dogs...

I saw the most horrific thing this weekend ya'll and it not only saddens me, but pisses me the frig off. I was at the park and it is an ON LEASH park. I was sittin there with my friend, Pissa Pants, enjoyin some creamed ice. This couple walked by with their pit bull and it was right by there side and whenever a dog would come near they would jerk on the leash to keep the dog in check. It even had a choke collar on.

MINUTES LATER: This lady runs by us yelling, "My Baby, My Baby". This guy starts runnin saying that someone is stealin him. My friend and I are lookin around confused. This lady drops to her knees in front of us grasping the air screaming "My Baby". We asked her what was wrong and she got up and took off runnin. So what do me and Pissa Pants do...we get up and follow. I thought that someone stole this ladys kid. I'm thinkin, beyotch stand up and go get yo damn babe. As we got closer, it then seemed like someone stole her dog (obv no one spoke very good english). There was a swarm of people surrounding an SUV. Whose SUV do you ask...the pit bull owners. Apparently, the pit bull attacked the ladies lil shit...zu. We decided to wait and gawk cause the cops were called and a fire truck came (I love a man in uniform). The lady's friend walked up with the lil dog and one of its eyes was missing and bloody and the other one must have been punctured cause it was there but also covered in blood.

The cops were questioning each party and everyone was of course being rude to the pitbull people. There were even people calling their lawyers to defend the Shit's owners. Now me being the super observant person I am noticed the lil dog had no collar, leash, or harness on. When your dog gets attacked the last thing you would think of is to take the damn collar off. I would bet anyone $100 that that dog ran up to the Pit Bull. It's an ON LEASH park bitches, technically that's what you get.

I do believe it was HORRIBLE for the Pitties parents to run away, especially cause they had an 8 year old son with them. So that's perfect, teach your damn lil hoodlum to run instead of takin responsibility for your actions. I did not stay for the outcome, but unfortunately I am afraid the Pit Bull will probably be put to sleep even though I KNOW those people had that dog in check. They couldn't help some idiot didn't follow the On Leash rule.

Lesson Of The Day: Dogs are unpredictable, it's called "On Leash Dog Area" for a reason. Also, when a dog seems aggressive, or you did not ask for permission...DO NOT think it is ok for your mutt to come sniff mine!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hatin On...Feelings?

Not to make light of drug addicts ya'll, but I imagine this is why they start using....for some reason the past two days I have been in a really tired, pissy and sad mood. I have no idea why either! Work is the same, family is still good, I have money, I get sleep, and I'm being healthy. Hell, my ass is even on week two of working out. Isn't working out supposed to release some damn endorphins and make you happy? Well my endorphins aren't working cause I am as pissed as ever!

Somebody give me a damn cheesecake so I can energize this body!

Lesson Of The Day: Maybe masking our feelins will help us to get more things accomplished...ask me tomorrow if that works!