Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Hatin on Jerks

Today I am totes hatin on that song "You're a Jerk" by the New Boyz...my ears are bleeding! Check out the video below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv9VKKXwVxU

First of all, I hate even puttin this shiz on my site cause I think it's advertisin them way more then they deserve! For the first 49 seconds all they say is, "You're a jerk, I know. You're a jerk, I know." OK OK...sheesh...we get it, you're jerks! At second 50 they start lamely wrapping, but you can't hear them because in the background that same annoying voice keeps repeating "jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk." It is so annoying that I want to bash my damn eardrums out just for it to stop (instead I just change the radio channel). If this qualifies to be on the radio, then I will create a demo of me repeating how awesome I am. That way I will make milly's and instead of cleanin the grease pit at Mc D's, I will be holdin concerts in the parkin lot!

These punks need to take some lessons from incredible rappers like Eminem. Whether you like the guy or not, his raps have content. They tell stories and he raps them with such emotion that you actually feel like you are watching it go down in person (check out "Beautiful" off of his new Relapse album). He is one of the few rappers today that doesn't just repeat the same line over and over and over. He doesn't steal hooks like Flo Rida does in "Right Round". Other oldies, but goodies the New Boyz need to check out are Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg...hell even the horrible Ja Rule is better then these wack ass little boys...or like they like to be called "boyz"....like the spelling makes them that much cooler????

The only thing about their video that I can give them props on is hiring their colorist. That video looks crisp, but is still lacking content just like their music.

Lesson of the Year: Do Not listen to New Boyz or any other musician like them. Lets get some creativity back on our radio waves.

A Shout Out!!!!!!

Below is the link to my first shout out!!!!! Check it out below, the blog is ogdaa.blogspot.com

Knuckledraggin my life away: Another new blog

Stay tuned for a Hatin blog coming up shortly!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Hatin on Fame

I am a huge hater of the new movie Fame (should've been titled Lame). I have lost 1 hour and 47 minutes of my life that I cannot get back....as well as $5.50 of my hard earned moolah. For those of you who love movies like Step Up, Center Stage, Flash Dance, etc. do not waste your time. Below are the reasons why you should not see this movie.

1. The Songs that are sung for a majority of the movie are not catchy. You will not find yourself dancing in your seat.

2. The dancing for the most part is good due to Kherington Payne (from So You Think You Can Dance), but the dancing sequences are short and aren't choreographed to good music. Plus, as much as I love my home girl KP, she cannot act.

3. The acting sucks the big one! I am talking painful!

4. Your ears will bleed when Kay Panabaker sings. She is horrible! She was like nails on a chalkboard, like Kristen Stewart in Twilight (or every movie she's ever been in...boring), like Megan Fox in an interview (retarded).

5. The "finale" dance/singing number was horrible. This is the scene that in most dance movies makes you move and groove and leave the theatre singing off key! Not in this movie. The song once again was forgettable, the dance sequence was horrible and did not even include the main dancer Kherington.

6. The infamous "Fame" song was used in the end credit roll....WTF? Wouldn't you expect this to be the finale number song? They gave it the end credit sequence?

Today's Obvious Lesson: DO NOT SEE FAME!

Hatin On Jenny


Have I ever told ya'll how much I hate Jenny? Jenny Craig that is! That beyotch is out to make your damn life miserable. When startin this program you will think you have died and gone to heaven. The food tastes great and isn't THAT hard to stick to. Give it a couple months and I guarantee you will be singing a new tune. This shiz has broke my damn bank account. Plus, I have actually put on weight. The food starts out delicious, and then after a few months starts tasting like kitchen cleaner. The chicken and beef look like pressed rubber. Once I came to this realization I fell off the wagon and hit hard! Has anyone ever had cheesy tots at Burger King? I hate to advertise for the enemy considering I work for the competition, but I swear those things are loaded with crack. They are so friggen addictin. Not only do they taste TDF (to die for), but they are cheap as hell.

How come diet food is so expensive, it's not like you are paying for quality cause it is nasty as hell. The portions are usually really small, so it's not like you are getting your moneys worth. Who in their right mind wants to eat broccoli unless it is covered in cheese? Who likes to drink water unless there is Kool-Aid mixed in? I don't know anyone who actually enjoys salad that is not covered in Ranch, Bacon Bits, and Croutons.

I think the only reason we are insecure to be on the chunky side is because society has made it unacceptable. I guarantee if movie stars and musicians were fat and happy and loaded with cheesy tots, then skinny people would be the ones unhappy and self conscious. Instead, it is more fashionable to be anorexic and starving. If roles were reversed then Jenny Craig would be really cheap and BK and MC D would be expensive. It's a lose, lose situation.

Today's Lesson: Try to find Ephedra pills on the black market. You may die from a heart attack, but at least you'll look skinny in your casket.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Hatin on Cuss Words

Today I am NOT hatin on cuss words, but hatin on the peeps that think cussin is offensive. When you angry and say shiz, freak, or even damnizzle don’t be skerd, them are just words people. The original meaning of the adjective profane referred to items not belonging to the church. That being said, someone decided one day to choose certain words or actions to be categorized as profane. It all started as an opinion of things that sounded or looked bad. An opinion that everyone still believes today.

Take the word Ass, or like I say...arse. This isn't just a profanity, but stands for many things like donkey or buttocks. Ass was also a French car made from 1919 to 1920. It's also a human gene that encodes for the enzyme argininosuccinate synthetase. Stands for the American Sociological Society, or for the faulty proof in mathematics - "Angle-Side-Side".

You know what peeps, today you are not aloud to say the word hello or smile....because today I say that they are profanity and anyone who says or does these actions are offending me!

Lesson of the day: Use cuss words as much as you want because their meaning is more intelligent then what society has defined them as.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Hatin on Datin

First off, let me just tell ya'll that I hate datin. It's to much damn work that is for realz. That being the reason I signed up for this lil site you may have heard of called match.com (should've been titled lame.com). This site costs an arm, a leg, and a butt cheek. I just can't handle using my whole Mickey D's pay check on a bunch of nasties. I know I am a whole lotta woman for a lil man, but how come only the nasties feel they can take me on? I be gettin messages from ex-cons missin teeth, chubby wubbys addicted to fluffy whip, and old men who live in nudist colonies. Call me picky, but I like my men boney. If you're short, look anorexic and eat one meal a day, then hit me up cause I got enough cushion for both of our pushin!

Another thing I am hatin on bout datin sites...how come when I hit a brother up he never gets back to me? Grow some berries man and diss me before you run away. I ain't scared; I reject a fool before I turn this fine slab of arse around and walk away.

Lesson of the day: Go pick up the man rummagin in the dumpster before you ever waste your bills on a site. You could always hit up craigslist for free!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Hatin on Stank Tattoos

I have no problem with tats, but what is up with all these stank tattoos peeps are gettin these days. Whoever came up with these ideas needs some serious counseling, for realz. (See picture examples).

Excuse me....sir with the prostitute legs on your side, you clearly aren't gettin any lovin from a lady friend if you have to have this realistic image on your pit. Not to mention, whatever lady willin to get with you after seein that needs to be locked up in the looney bin right next to your dumb ass (said using the voice of Red Forman in That 70's Show). You know what that is gonna look like in 20 years??? It's gonna look like the old wrinkly naked lady on the street corner. Enjoy your permanent, realistic image of a woman's cootie aging.

Next, beyotch with the bacon??? I think that is bacon.....Are you hungry??? I can't understand why anyone would want a slab of pig on their side...now maybe if it was a Big Mac I would understand. Maybe that is supposed to look like someone took a damn slice outta your side like in Silence of the damn Lambs. You sewin a skin suit at home? If I am completely wrong about both ideas of what the hell that is on your side, then you should've gotten a better artist cause nobody can tell what the hell is goin down with that thing.

Today's Lesson: Never put somethin permanent on your body that shows peeps how ignorant and crazy you really are. And please, go get some help immediately.

Hatin on the Spoon-fed Adults

First of all bitches, let me just tell you how much I hate the blog colors. A hater like me don't want no pink, white is boring, no one likes sandy shore or whatever the hell it's called, and black is for boys. So that leaves lime green, can someone pass me some damn shades cause this shiz is bright!

Today I am majorly hatin on the Spoon-fed adults, which technically they could still be considered children. These are the individuals that can't figure anything out on their own so someone like myself constantly has to "spoon feed" them information. You will notice many of these people have gotten through life riding on the coattails of usually a successful parent.

At work they ask you the same question 5 times a day, even though you've already told them the answer which they already knew from a previous conversation a month ago. Wake up and smell the damn coffee people, do some research before you bother me with an ignorant question. The world is not blind...the only reason you act stupid is because you know I will do your work for you because dealing with your moronic ways gives me a migraine. When I first started in the workforce at McDonalds I had a really tough drive-thru customer at my window. I asked the manager for some help and what did he scream to me...."Figure it out on your own Imbecile!" That's all someone needs to yell at these people, and I guarantee they will learn their lesson.

This doesn't only happen with co-workers, but significant others. I had a boyfriend one time ask me if something was wrong. Are you stupid???? You must be! I am sitting here and you should be dead because my look could kill. Then he proceeded to ask me what he did and how he could fix it. What do you mean what did you do???? Do I have to spoon-feed you the information, because I swear I just caught you in Tameka's bed naked! How do you fix it??? Figure it out on your own moron, but I swear if you come near me I will throw this vase at you.

Be aware of the following Spoon-fed people: Co-workers, Significant others, Grocery store baggers, and people without brains.

The lesson for today: when dealing with people who insist on being spoon-fed information reply to them with, "I will not wipe your arse while you sit on the pot."