Monday, September 28, 2009

Hatin On Jenny

Have I ever told ya'll how much I hate Jenny? Jenny Craig that is! That beyotch is out to make your damn life miserable. When startin this program you will think you have died and gone to heaven. The food tastes great and isn't THAT hard to stick to. Give it a couple months and I guarantee you will be singing a new tune. This shiz has broke my damn bank account. Plus, I have actually put on weight. The food starts out delicious, and then after a few months starts tasting like kitchen cleaner. The chicken and beef look like pressed rubber. Once I came to this realization I fell off the wagon and hit hard! Has anyone ever had cheesy tots at Burger King? I hate to advertise for the enemy considering I work for the competition, but I swear those things are loaded with crack. They are so friggen addictin. Not only do they taste TDF (to die for), but they are cheap as hell.

How come diet food is so expensive, it's not like you are paying for quality cause it is nasty as hell. The portions are usually really small, so it's not like you are getting your moneys worth. Who in their right mind wants to eat broccoli unless it is covered in cheese? Who likes to drink water unless there is Kool-Aid mixed in? I don't know anyone who actually enjoys salad that is not covered in Ranch, Bacon Bits, and Croutons.

I think the only reason we are insecure to be on the chunky side is because society has made it unacceptable. I guarantee if movie stars and musicians were fat and happy and loaded with cheesy tots, then skinny people would be the ones unhappy and self conscious. Instead, it is more fashionable to be anorexic and starving. If roles were reversed then Jenny Craig would be really cheap and BK and MC D would be expensive. It's a lose, lose situation.

Today's Lesson: Try to find Ephedra pills on the black market. You may die from a heart attack, but at least you'll look skinny in your casket.


  1. Oh, that made me laugh! Truer words were never spoken!

  2. I think packaged food isn't Real World. It's all about finding a balance and you are so right, embrace your curves if you got em.

  3. I so completely love this post. I'm all about eating BK cheesy tots too. I went through the drive-thru the other day just to get the cheezy tots with the kids in the car. They were all crying, 'I want fries, I don't like cheezy tots'. I was like well shut it....momma's gotta have her fix! Besides what you don't eat, I get to eat....more for me!!!