Friday, October 30, 2009

Hatin On Cocks

April Fools!!! Gotchya.....wait, is it April? I am actually rippin on cockroaches today! GOSH talk about baby mills, cockroaches sure do know how to put out.

I hate livin in an apartment building! Even if it is the nicest, most expensive place on the planet you will get roaches. It all comes from one dirty Mo that decided not to clean the kitchen. Those roaches can smell food from planets away. Then the tricky lil bastards creep right through the damn walls into my clean apartment. My poor Doogie got bombarded by a roach army one time just because he was a little slow eating his Moist and Meaty Beef. Next thing I know I see one on the wall and look behind my desk (by his cage) and there is hundreds of babies!!!! Talk about freaking out. I ran around my room screaming and flailing my arms like a crazy person (which my non-boy toy, boy toy frequently calls me). You see I live alone, so clearly it must've looked and sounded awfully peculiar to my neighbors. Anyways, I moved Doogie and sprayed the livin shiz outta that corner. I placed motels all throughout my apartment as well as sprayed indoor bug spray all around the baseboards. Needless to say, I slept with the lights on in my bedroom at night for a whole week because every time I fell asleep I literally had dreams of cockroaches falling from the ceiling onto my head.

So now I spray indoor bug spray around my baseboards once every 2-3 months (even though it's supposed to last 9), I continually put new vacation spots (roach motels) out for my visitors, as well as have a hand vac for any extra food Doogie leaves behind. Sometimes I think he misses his new friends when momma is at work.

Lesson Of The Day: Become an exterminator...they probably make millions in apartment buildings.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Hatin on Emergen-C

Everyone at work is sick, What The Fig Newton!?! Your girl Harlem has a very excitin weekend ahead and cannot afford to catch the creep-n-crud. I figure antibacterial hand sanitizer is not enough to fight off the germs, especially when I woke up on Monday with a tightness in my throat. All day at work I was freakin out and one of my home girls, Stefania, suggested a Cold-Eez drop...UMMMMM hell to the no. I will never eat one of those devil drops again! It's poison, I swear! That thing tasted like a watered down cough drop and then as an added bonus it left this film in my mouth like I had just smoked a whole pack of cigs. Not to mention my chick nugs and coke tasted stank after!

That being said my home girl then offered up some Emergen-C on Tuesday. I took one pack in the mornin and one at night. That shiz isn't much better. It tastes like watered down kool-aid that someone put a pack of salt in, mixed with some Alka Seltzer. Plus, it has 25 calories...I'd rather waste those on a damn Jolly Rancher. Since this little minx can't afford to get sick, I have decided to continue the Emergen-C regimen today, but you can bet your cute arse that I will be bitchin about it the whole day. This better work or I will be sendin someone to hell and they won't be roastin weenies.

Lesson Of The Day: If you're sick, DO NOT come infect me at work.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Hatin On Nerves

Ya'll I hate my damn nerves! I get so nervous about everything, what the hell is wrong with me! Normally when my nerves take over my body I just eat....A LOT...that's my form of exorcism. Well not lately! There are hundreds of damn cocoons all up in my stomach and they are hatchin some huge butterflies. I take Pepto, Maalox, and Alka Seltzer. I can't even eat because I feel so nauseous...and NO I am not man is lucky enough to unlock this chastity belt! Normally when I am nervous I gain 15 pounds as well as a cold sore right on my damn lip, which then causes the "herpes" jokes to come out in full force....ignorant humans. As I still get the cold sore which I blame on my parents since it is a hereditary miss fortune, the only good thing is I can't eat a damn thing so I am wasting away into an emaciated gravesite (a little exaggerated I am sure).

Lesson Of The Day: Find the cause of your anxiety and banish it forever.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Hatin on Baby Mills

Have ya'll ever heard of that damn show 19 Kids and Counting? It's about the Duggar family who has 18 kids and 1 on the way due in March 2010. In case you can't add...that makes for a whoppin 19 kids! That sounds like a damn baby mill to me. If you can't breed that many damn puppies, then how is it ok to have that many children? Everyone disses on the Octomom because she is single and has 14 kids through In Vitro, I don't see a difference. Yea big whoop that the Duggar family has a mother and father that produced the babies on their own, it's still 19 kids! The only reason they can even afford them is because of their television show which is using their kids for promotional purposes. I don't get what the fascination is with collecting children, other then to have them do your house chores...if that's the case, then I will borrow some from your litter to do the vacuuming. It started with John and Kate Plus Eight, then 18 (now 19) kids and counting, and around the same time the Octomom hit big. What's next, we're going to start seeing kids for sale in the classifieds under "pets"? Even Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are starting their own herd. What are The Duggars, John and Kate, and Octomom going to do once their 15 minutes of fame runs out? They are going to be using our tax money to support their gang of misfits. No wonder there are so many bratty children in the world...who has time for them when you have 18 other little ruggies (a.k.a rugrats) runnin around. I'd want attention to if I were them, it's not their fault.

I see children come into Mc D's all the time laying on the dirty ass floor kickin and screamin because they didn't get the damn toy they wanted in their damn happy meal. So instead of picking them up and disciplining the kid right then and there, the parents ignore them and let other hungry customers step over them. Then, when someone trips and falls over your little monster, you proceed to yell at that innocent bystander. What ever happened to a good old fashioned arse whoopin? Didn't hurt me or my brosky, only happened twice and we learned.

I was at CVS the other day and 5 children were playin tag in the damn store! WTF?!?!?! I swear if you run into your girl Harlem I will yell at you, and that's exactly what happened. The mom and dad were standing right next to me in the makeup aisle when the little monkeys came by and ran straight into me. I looked at them and firmly said, "This is a public place, not a damn playground. You need to learn some manners before you run into someone else." The parents FINALLY grabbed them and made them stand by their was that so hard?!?!?

I know some of you defensive parents are goin to get your panties in a bunch about this. I know children have bad days where they scream and cry, but when you are in public just try to keep them in control. You wouldn't let your dog go ape shit on some innocent bystander, so don't let your kids.

Lesson of The Day: It's Called BIRTH CONTROL people!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Hatin On Shavin

Let me just tell you that girls have it way worse then guys. As if pregnancy isn't painful enough, we were granted the privilege of shaving! I know Eve ate the apple first, but Adam, like most men, followed her lead and ate it shouldn't the man have some consequences as well?

Women have to shave their legs, arm pits, chin and lip if hair sprouts, as well as wax the eyebrows, and even shave their damn snickerdoodle! Some women even shave their arms and stomachs!!! What The Fig Newton??? Shavin sucks! It takes time and energy. You also can develop a shaving rash which leads to gettin certain regions waxed! HELLOOOOOO, talk about painful! Why does hair grow back so quickly? Little hair crops start growin in two days, then it starts to itch! My future boyfriend better pay me for shavin because it's a full time job!

You know what would make me jazzercised....if the man had to shave more then just his damn face! He doesn't even have to shave that and he's still considered ruggedly handsome. If a woman doesn't shave she's considered gross or dirty. Guys don't even keep up with shaving the small region of their face. They let it grow in and then the woman has to suffer AGAIN. DUDE....when your facial hair sprouts and we kiss you it causes our lips, chin, and nose to become chapped which then flakes like a damn sunburn. If I have to keep it up, surely you can take 5 mins to shave your damn face regularly!

Lesson Of The Day: Move to France where women are au naturel.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Hatin on Dogs

What up beyotches? I realized I didn't post today, so this is gonna be a quicky.

My non-boy toy, boy toy is in trouble due to an incident on Monday. He's not in the dog house ya'll, but I sent him straight to the pound!

Lesson Of The Day: You better be kissin some major bootay to get back into Harlem's good graces! Who's Mr. Awesome now biznatchy!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Hatin On Flights

What's up gangstas and gangstettes, it’s your girl Harlem, if you even remember who I am. As you can tell I have not posted since Thursday, WTT you ask (What The Tuna)?!?!? Well I have been on a slight vacay if you wanna call it that, which leads to today’s post....I am Hatin on Flights! For some reason I have been all into listing the reasons I hate things, so today I am keeping that tradish alive, see below.

1. You literally have to sell your soul to the devil because flights cost a milly. Not to mention if you want to bring a traveling buddy along like my lil doogie gangsta. To take a dog on a flight it costs almost as much as a full roundtrip ticket. The problem is Doogie doesn't get his own seat; he has to sit in a bag under the damn seat. WTT, you wouldn't put your son under the seat...or would you?

2. The loading of the bird - This is horrible. You load by zone/seat section. First of all, they tell you two small come there are always a milly Mo's that carry on two full suitcases a piece. So then the people like me who follow the rules have to jam their small carryon in a tight space so that all my valuables are squished/break. Why do you think your shiz is more important than mine? Plus, when you carry on large items like that, you are juggling them in a small aisle like the rest of us, but instead of it taking you 5 mins to store your items, you are in the aisle for a damn hour jugglin your junk.

This guy had his jacket and his ladies jacket as well as a plastic bag in an overhead bin. I put my normal carry on sized bag in front of his small items because there was literally nowhere else to put my bag. He looks at me and says, "You just squished my stuff." I politely said sorry, but your girl Harlem wanted to say, "Why you lookin at me like a damn fool. I know I squished your shiz, but would you rather I store my bag on your damn head?"

3. The seats are so damn small. Even if you are anorexic you still get all up in people's grill. Whether it's the slight elbow when grabbing a drink from the flight attendants, or in my instance when I fall asleep and continually jump a foot in the air every three minutes. That shakes the damn seats. I wonder what I dream about on planes that makes me a damn Mexican Jumping Bean.

4. Layovers - Are these not the worst? Either you are stressing that you are going to miss your connecting, or you are bored as hell with a 4 hour lay over.

5. Eating - Forget being healthy while traveling. The airplanes don't give free food anymore, who wants to pay 50.00 for a stank ass sammy? So to preoccupy you in a layover, or even while you are on the flight you HAVE to buy snacks. I'm talkin Doritos, chocolate, Fast Food, and of course Antacid for the damn indigestion from the junk food and the nervous feeling that this plane could go down any second!

6. Getting off the plane - Getting off the plane is the worst. You have those people that run all the way from the back to the front like there's a damn fire. What is up with that? It just makes me want to stick my foot out and trip them just so I can say "Slow Your Roll Beyotch"!

I was getting off a flight one time and one of the people that pushed passed me was this homeless lady I always see on the road on my way to work. How the hell did she have enough money to be on that flight, and why was she coming from New York? I know for a fact it was her because I see this chick every day askin for money. If you make that much money being homeless, then sign me up. I don't even have to interview for that job.

I was going to hate on security lines as well, but luckily enough for me security went really quickly and really smoothly. Why can't it always be like that?!?!

The one thing I love about airports is watching people arrive. Their loved ones always look so happy. Many people start crying. I must say, for the most usually feel loved upon arrival. You most likely will feel sad upon departure.

*Side Note*: My homie gave me an award, but I have been unable to pick it up because I am still trying to figure out this whole HTML bullshiz, why does it have to be so complicated. It's literally another language! I definitely appreciate it and hope to figure it out soon!!!

Today's Lesson: Make sure you have a stiff cocktail before attempting travel by plane.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Hatin on Today

I am totes hatin on today, Wednesday 10/15/2009. Don't get me wrong, the day could be much worse. I am basically just using this as an outlet to vent, so I will hate on me for being a brat. Here is the breakdown of today like you care, cause I wouldn't if I were you honestly.

1. Woke up 10 minutes before leaving for work. I hit the damn snooze button and I always feel for the Braille dots....well, the damn Braille dots are on the sleep button too unfortunately, which turns off your alarm.

2. I had to rush to Mc D's, which I hate rushin anywhere unless it's after an ice cream truck. So I am wearing a sweatshirt, an uncombed rat’s nest on my damn head, and no make up. Your girl looks like Courtney Love on crack. The only good thing about my looks today is I can give the drive thru customers quite a fright! Halloween has come early my friends.

3. I left my ears (a.k.a headphones) at home so I can't listen to my pod, and I have a headache...nuff said.

4. My non-boy toy, boy toy and I are havin some miscommunications. Poor sap has Harlem Fever and unfortunately there is no cure.

5. I have had this constant nervous/anxiety feeling in my stomach all week and I can't seem to find any drugs strong enough for it. If you could OD on pepto and antacid tabs, I am sure I would be dead.

6. I slipped in a grease puddle at work and hurt my damn arse. There is a lot of junk in this trunk so you know I must've hit hard. I swear Mc D's thought there was an earthquake cause the whole damn building shook.

That's it for now; I imagine the day should get better before worse????

Lesson For The Day: Do not take any advice from me on 10/15/09 as I have proven to be a bad luck charm.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Hatin on MC

I am totally Hatin on MC (aka Mariah Carey). First of all, isn't the beyotch 70? I swear I used to listen to her when I was in the womb. I hate the way she walks around like she is this huge super star. This Heifer hasn't had a good album since her #1's album which was released in 1998. That brings me to another point....since she can't release any good new music, she has released over 5 greatest hits albums which all include her old songs. In order to fool people she switches up the titles from "Greatest Hits" to things like "Ballads", "Remixes", and "#1's". Give it a rest granny; you are washed up like Madonna in a rain storm. I don't even know why radio stations are still playin her music, I always switch to CD's when it comes on. She even married that Wack Ass actor named Nick Cannon. Girl you robbed the freakin cradle on that one and all you got was a gig on America's Got Talent, which you lip synched by the way. Her new album did so horrible that she is re-releasing it. Give it a rest; no one is goin to buy it the second time around. All the people who bought it the first time are tone deaf.

Lesson Of the Day: If you wanna check out some good music, new and old, check out This blog is dope. It has awesome pictures that correspond with song lyrics. Then this pimp even added the music file underneath so you could hear the full song...GENIUS!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Hatin on Mon

No, "Mon" is not a misspelling and I am not about to speak Jamaican, "ey dere Mon". Mon is for Monday. I am totally hatin on Mondays. I feel so lazy that I couldn't even spell the whole word in the damn title! It doesn't matter how much R&R I get on the weekends, Mondays are never any easier. I also feel like all the Mo's (a.k.a Morons) come out on Mondays. I think it's their party day in order to make your life hell. Driving to work I got cut off by an infamous MO who then proceeded to drive 20 in a 60. Upon arriving to work I shivered all the way to the coffee shop a block away, cause you know your girl Harlem doesn't drink the shiz at Mc D's. Then I got spoiled by this dude that always discounts me a dollar cause he wasn't at the being the brat that I am, I was peeved I had to pay full price. At work more Mo's continue to ask me stupid questions. For example, when do you serve lunch? WTF, beyotch it is 9am and you be thinkin about lunch??? Did I mention the fact that my stomach is on fire and I've been inhaling Maalox and Bismuth tablets as if I was a heroine addict? Can you OD on Pepto tablets and Maalox? If so, I will most likely pass out at any secfhjdhlkjkjshdgkjh.

Oops, sorry about the gibberish, my head landed on my keyboard and I woke up to drool all over the j-k region. I don't even feel like bloggin this Mon, as I am sure you can tell from this some what lacking post. Oh, and did I mention I was having a bad hair day(see pict)?

Lesson of the Day: Even coffee doesn't help a Mon!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Hatin on Boob Jigglin

Why do guys like to boob jiggle? I know they don't contain a pair of their own, but do they actually think girls like it? I have not experienced this first hand, but I have seen many movies and many guys in public that resort to boob jigglin. How would they feel if girls started ball jigglin??? There are so many ways to ball jiggle, see below:

1. You can bat them back and forth like a pendulum.

2. You can bat them up like a paddle ball (see picture above. Paddle being hand, ball being...well...)

3. You can tickle them like an arm pit.

4. You can juggle them up and down, while making the sound effect "dink, dink, dink, dink".

5. You can bat them in circles like throwing a pizza pie.

Now you tell me boys....does that sound like fun? But it should be ok because us girls don't have a pair of our own!!!

Today's LIFETIME Lesson: Stop the boob jigglin now! Women, if you come across this sort of human, please retaliate immediately.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Hatin on Peanut Crushers

Believe it or not, the following is a true story. Your girl Harlem was on a date play mini golf. Let me give you a visual of this guy....he was tall, fat, glasses, and crooked rat teeth. Basically, my definition of a nasty nast. Some of you may think I am being mean and judgmental, but if you want a visual picture, then that is exactly how he looks. As I am sure you are aware, this was a blind date. Not only did he look like a sewer rat, but he stunk like one too. Poor fellow had ate some garbage because he consistently had to go to the bathroom and not for a coke fix if you know what I mean. The bathroom odors lingered onto the putt putt range and unfortunately I wasn't advised to bring my gas mask. The whole date, every time I got the damn ball into that damn little hole he would rub my back and get right in my face telling me how good I was. He must've been blind as a damn bat cause I swear it always took me at least five shots to get it in. He had no idea of personal boundaries at all and his rat teeth kept gnawing near my face. If that wasn't bad enough he got a bag of peanuts for us as a snack. He would crush them in his damn hands and turn the shell to powder and then hold out his hand for me to pick the nuts out. Ummmm, I know you think you are being a gentleman, but have you ever heard of swine flu, or E. coli??? GROSS! Get your damn hand out of my face fool! Unfortunately, I have some manners and took a couple nutty nuts that way and then insisted I was full. To top it all off, I had to pay...WHAT THE FRIG???? At the end of the night, he gave me this huge hug while violently shaking my body....I felt like I was in a damn earthquake. Of course he wanted to go get drinks, but your girl Harlem is way smarter then that. I couldn't stand another minute with Creepenstein. I would dig my own grave and lay in it.

Today's Lesson: NEVER let your friends convince you to go on a blind date with someone they've never even met.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Hatin on Squirrels

OMG ya'll. I was gettin my walkie walk on at the park today; you know just kicken back and enjoyin the polluted air. Next thing I know I was surrounded by mangy lookin rats with big tails...translation...squirrels. Ok, so there were only two, but they were barkin at me. They started staring with their tails held high and makin this god awful noise! Your girl Harlem took off runnin. Last time I ran that fast was when I was chasin the damn pizza delivery man. I saw one near my crib a few hours later and about had a damn heart attack. I've come to the realization that I have squirrel-a-phobia!

Today's Lesson: Do NOT Feed, Look, or Pet the squirrels. They will attack you!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Hatin on Webs

Yo gangstas! Your girl Harlem had a lil surprise waitin for her this mornin. I was on my way to my damn car while searchin through my damn Mary Poppins Purse (uber deep and jam packed with fun).....that's when it happened....the surprise. I felt this huge sticky mess all up on me....NOOOO, it's not what you are thinkin! I couldn't get it off, I was pullin, screamin, and scratchin the hell outta my damn skin. You guessed it...I walked right into a HUGE, GRANDE for my espanol folk, spider web. Now the only problem I have is tryin to find that damn spider that you know is all up in my grill. Good thing no one was around, cause I looked like I was goin through a damn exorcism. Dudes and dudettes…I totally be hatin on spiders/webs big time ya’ll!

Lesson For The Day: When traveling through a spider web, make a note of the spiders’ location.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Hatin on More To Love

Did anyone besides your girl Harlem watch More To Love? I am totes hatin on that show. Yes, I did watch the whole season to give some support for my big boned sistas, but was unhappy with a few aspects.

1. As great as it is to have a "Bachelor" type show for normal people, I don't like the way they jumped to extremes. They went from super hot, in shape, model-esque people to extremely overweight people. What happened to everyone in between? There are some of us out there that aren't 100lbs or 275+lbs. Is there any reality show out there about average people? We want love, or at least a good roll in the hay.

2. This show was definitely set up, because as Luke always seemed into Malissa...where did Tali come from? That chick was nowhere in site. As she was always completely dopey for him, he didn't catch the Tali fever until the last 3 or so episodes. What happened with Heather? She was the front runner, and then he completely voted her out all of a sudden. I cannot believe he chose Tali!!! He must be hoping for a season 2 where he can start over just like those wack jobs on the MTV shows (i.e. I Love New York, Flava Flav, Real Chance, etc.).

3. This should've been a show empowering heavy people to accept who they are. Instead it just made us feel worse about ourselves. It continuously showed these beauties crying about how they've been mistreated because of their weight. In one sentence they would claim how happy they were with themselves and then start crying about how they couldn't get a man. This was completely heartbreaking and in a way gave society more reasons to make fun of them.

Lesson Of The Day: Average women need some air time...Lets cast a show for 140-170lb. beauties. Please, no more shows about models, rich snots, or our favorite felines...the cougar!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Hatin on LC

I am totes rippin on Lauren Conrad (or LC as she likes to be called). This beyotch became famous when she was on that little show called Laguna Beach. Since day one she has been a whiney, conceited slut. Always complaining about Kristin Cavallari being mean to her, but honestly the bitch deserved it. She walks around like she has a stick up her arse. She went on to a show called The Hills. Here she met her bff Heidi Montag. Now don't get me wrong, I totally hate on Heidi and her annoying ways, but I can't believe the viewers took Lauren's side when they had that big fight over Spencer. Lame C. didn't like Spencer and gave Heidi the ultimatum to choose between their friendship and her boyfriend! Bitch please...who do you think you are....Jesus? You can't make decisions like that! So, Heidi chose Spencer. You go girl! A good friend would've said, "I don't like your boyfriend for reasons A, B, and C. I will still support you, but I wouldn't have been a good friend without telling you my concerns."

So now everyone is hatin on Heidi for choosing her jerk boyfriend over Lauren. Wake up!!! LC is NOT a good friend; Heidi shouldn't have had to choose in the first place. Then in another season of the hills, that spoiled brat makes Audrina (her new bff) choose between their friendship and her boyfriend Justin Bobby. Yea, the guy is a loser, but let Ho-drina figure it out on her own, don't make her choose. WTF?!?!?!? Lame C. must think she is President cause she is tryin to run everyone's life. Could someone remind me why this chick is famous? She started on a reality show that has been busted for being scripted!

Lauren has also tried twice to create a clothing line. The first time failing miserably by pricing ugly cotton dresses for hundreds of dollars. You can go to Forever 21/Charolette Russe and get the same dress for 15.99. Her second line of clothing is featured at Kohls. This consists of ugly material and styles for 20.00. Yes, the price in an improvement, but I do not agree with spending 20.00 on a blue, spaghetti strap tank top. Ugly and outrageous!

I think humans have lost their damn minds! Somehow Lame C's book L.A. Candy has made its way to the New York Times Best Sellers list. WTF??? Could someone pinch me because I feel like I am in a nightmare and I cannot wake up! L.A. Candy is a fictional novel about a girl that comes to LA for an internship and is approached to be on a reality show. Hmmmm sound familiar??? It's about Lauren's life, which mostly we have already seen on TV! For those of you haters out there that will say, "If you don't like her then don't watch the show, buy the clothes, or read the book." Trust me....I haven't and won't! Could society please phase this spoiled heffer out, cause I’m sick of seein her haunt my dreams??? Check out, cause Lame C's picture is on the front page!

Lesson of the day: Stop making pointless people society's idols.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Hatin on Macy

So there is a lot ya'll don't know bout your girl Harlem. I worked at Macy's for two months. Sadly enough, it is not as glamorous as the perfume spritzing girls in the front make it look. This was the job from H-E-L-L!!! First of all, they required you to dress up. I guess my booty shorts and booby shirt weren't good enough. So, I watched some Life In The Fab Lane with Kimora Lee Simmons and realized I needed some "Fabulosity" up in my wardrobe. Unfortunately, I could not afford this, so I went for the simple black pants and black button up. I know what you are thinking...LORING (combination of lame and boring)!

First month of work they make it look really swell. The wardens give you a free month of not having to meet a sales goal. Everything you sell you make a small amount of commission on. The only thing that sucks at this point is the fact that the girl I work with is a major beyotch. She feels that just because she's been working there her whole life that she can go all army captain on me and harass my arse. She makes me put all of the peeps clothes back on hangers and put them all away. This results in me getting hardly any commission. Not to mention we have to get to work uber early on the mornings of new arrivals and sales. This way we can change out all the sales signs and put clothes on sales racks. All of this is done by using a laser gun.....shoot, the only gat I know how to use is my 9. Another thing you don't know is I am NOT a morning person. This beyotch starts given me tude in the mornins and I will bury her under a pile of clothes and sit on her damn face.

Second month of work they decide to hire a man to work in the Juniors department. Who was the Mo that decided that? A Juniors.....CREEPY! He was the manager since we never had one before. That fool of course did not know women’s clothing, and refused to go in the women's dressing room even when the store was closed. I had to do all the damn work. Also, they make you get a ridiculous sales goal each week. You don't make any commission until you sell more then your sales goal. If you sell $1.00 over have fun with your .10 commission!

On my last night in hell there were soooo many clothes piled on the floor in the girls dressing room, OFF hangers! Hell to the no if they think Harlem is gonna pick that shiz up yet again on her own! So what did I do???? I told that pervie man that I was goin to powder my damn nose and then I took off runnin. You got that right, I ran out the damn door so fast it makes the road runner look like a snail. To this day I still wonder how long it took him to realize I wasn't comin back.

Lesson of the day: Work at McDonalds, retail blows the big one.