Friday, October 30, 2009

Hatin On Cocks

April Fools!!! Gotchya.....wait, is it April? I am actually rippin on cockroaches today! GOSH talk about baby mills, cockroaches sure do know how to put out.

I hate livin in an apartment building! Even if it is the nicest, most expensive place on the planet you will get roaches. It all comes from one dirty Mo that decided not to clean the kitchen. Those roaches can smell food from planets away. Then the tricky lil bastards creep right through the damn walls into my clean apartment. My poor Doogie got bombarded by a roach army one time just because he was a little slow eating his Moist and Meaty Beef. Next thing I know I see one on the wall and look behind my desk (by his cage) and there is hundreds of babies!!!! Talk about freaking out. I ran around my room screaming and flailing my arms like a crazy person (which my non-boy toy, boy toy frequently calls me). You see I live alone, so clearly it must've looked and sounded awfully peculiar to my neighbors. Anyways, I moved Doogie and sprayed the livin shiz outta that corner. I placed motels all throughout my apartment as well as sprayed indoor bug spray all around the baseboards. Needless to say, I slept with the lights on in my bedroom at night for a whole week because every time I fell asleep I literally had dreams of cockroaches falling from the ceiling onto my head.

So now I spray indoor bug spray around my baseboards once every 2-3 months (even though it's supposed to last 9), I continually put new vacation spots (roach motels) out for my visitors, as well as have a hand vac for any extra food Doogie leaves behind. Sometimes I think he misses his new friends when momma is at work.

Lesson Of The Day: Become an exterminator...they probably make millions in apartment buildings.

11 comments:

  1. I can totally see myself running around and flailing my arms like you if I had seen that many cockroaches~! They literally make my skin crawl. Sometimes I think exterminators put roaches in some buildings to drum up business, but you are probably right, it only takes one dirty birdy to signal their arrival. Thank heavens my only problem right now is ants...I totally can squash them with my fingers.

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  2. lmfao!!!!!!!! i adore this post!!!!!

    hey now....=)i taggged you for an award!!! check my site for deets!

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  3. Well I am not hatin anything on this blog.

    Great blog and very funny.

    Renee xoxo

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  4. Thank you for the comment on my blog re: my furniture. I paid you a visit and really enjoyed your blog. Very creative and fun.

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  5. When I was a wee child, we had a roach stow away in a soda carton from the grocery store. It was already dead when we got home and found it, but my father disinfected the entire house.

    Then I went to college in Texas, and many years later moved to Florida. Both times are separate Crocodile Dundee moments of the insect world: "Naw, that's not a roach. THAT'S a roach!"

    And yes, Terminix makes monthly retreatment visits just to be sure.

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  6. The bug I am afraid of around here is the bedbug. We've got an epidemic of them in our city.

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  7. ugh. roaches are vile. my neighbor had them once, and the fuckers then infested my place. i lost my mind over it. awful!!!! i had once on my belly once and pretty much lost it. VILE.

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  8. Sounds like "Twas the Night Before Christmas"... the part where they were safely tucked in their beds, while visions of cockroaches danced in their heads...

    Well, if the bug spray doesn't work "as is", alot of aerosol can products like that can be turned into miniature flamethrowers by holding a lighter in front of the spray jet, just don't singe your knuckles... and if that doesn't work, typical garden sprayers can also be turned into flamethrowers by filling them with gasoline. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but I lived in West Philadelphia for a while, perhaps the cockroach capital of the east coast...
    :-D

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  9. Roach Motel: Best invention ever! Bugs check in, but they don't check out... I love an advertiser with a wicked sense of humor. But I'm hatin' on the roaches!

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  10. My word! (I just found your blog via Owen's Magic Lantern Show). I have never encountered a better written or funnier blog. You've got a way with words, that's for sure!

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