Monday, November 9, 2009

Hatin On Exercise

OMG ya'll, I am totes hatin on exercisin. Your girl Harlem is tryin to get her arse back in shape and it is NOT pretty. After you work a full day scrubbin damn grease pits, how you gonna have the energy to crawl onto a treadmill? I need a damn wheel chair to get me across Mc D's parkin lot at the end of the day because I am completely exhausted. Not to mention the damn runnin machine tried to kill me. Your girl was takin a lil walky walk when all of a sudden the damn thing jolted and your girl went flyin off. The gangstas in the apartment below me thought there was an earthquake when I hit the floor and the whole damn building shook.

Another thing I hate about exercisin is the sweat. I swear California would be the wettest state if I lived there, just from the gallons of sweat that leaks off me in a 2 minute period. They even have those treadi's that have fans on the front. Those things cost my entire life savings and then they only blow ya damn face. They need to invent a full body fan treadmill; I think I might patent that idea. Or a treadmill with air conditioning, like a lil runnin cocoon.

Also, why does running have to be so expensive? I have knee problems, so I have to buy actual running shoes which are close to a hundie. I hate goin to gyms...they should be called meat markets. All the guys are either sizin up the chicks, or checkin themselves out in the mirrors.....news flash, you ain't all that beef head! All the hoes go in there half naked with full make up and their damn hair did. WTF?!?!?! Beyotch, this ain't a beauty pageant. Whatever happened to the normal people...oh yea....they had to spend hundreds of dollars on a damn treadmill cause ya'll make it uncomfortable for them to work out.

Lesson of the Day: In order to gain motivation to workout, make sure to dangle french fries/cheesy tots in front of ya damn treadie...I guarantee you will run your arse off!

2 comments:

  1. Well, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that sweats enough to inspire the story of Noah's ark. Treadmills are evil...I like ellipticals. Not that I have been on one anytime recently, but if I could buy my own personal exercise cocoon, it would be the elliptical. There is no way I am going near a gym. Those people are already skinny.

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  2. I go to the gym at lunch time as I'm literally one block from the gym and it would be stupid NOT to go. Its not busy then which is great - you don't have to wait for machines and its cool and quiet so I can crank up my ipod to full blast and jam to my favourite tunes while I excercise away.

    It works for me.

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