Monday, November 23, 2009

Hatin On Freddy

Hey strangers, it's your girl Harlem....remember me? Today I am hatin on Freddy. Who is Freddy you desktop computer. I've had this old chap for the past 6 years. An ex lame-ass of mine built him from scratch and at one time he was youthful and energetic. Fast forward 6 years....DAMN YOU FREDDY! How the hell am I supposed to keep up with this blog if he keeps movin at the speed of snail? Below are Freddy's current ailments:

1. When booting up it takes 30 minutes total. If you open any program, or try to even IM someone before that time is up, he freezes. (he's very stubborn)

2. Since it takes so long to restart Freddy, I leave him on. If you leave him on for more then 3 days straight he decides to freeze which requires a hard shut down, resulting in another 30 minute boot up.

3. When skyping/video chatting with my long distance lover Freddy refuses to let you listen to music or go on the internet at the same time. (what a brat!)

4. Freddy refuses to burn CD's using iTunes.

5. When running Mozilla, AIM, and iTunes he decides that's overload and says that 99% of the CPU is in use?!?!? This leads to snail speeds as well as the occasional frozen tantrums.

6. His front tower door is broken off and constantly falls to the floor. (thanks a lot moving company)

With all that being said I think I might have to break down and buy a new companion. Unfortunately that's not that easy with the amount of pay I get from cleanin damn grease pits. Maybe I can video tape myself and get paid to be on Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, and then I could afford a laptop. Hell, Mike Rowe and I might even get married and then he could just buy me one.

Since this is an emergency, maybe I will go this weekend and buy a cheap netbook. Regardless, Freddy has been around longer then most friends so I cannot just throw him in the dumpster because he's old. Would you throw your grandfather in the dumpster? At least I can still watch DVDs on him!!!

Lesson Of The Day: Computers are like family, everyone deserves a second chance.


  1. Maybe he just needs some tender ministrations. Do you know how to reimage the hard drive? With the original installation disks? The fact that he takes so long to boot up and crashes could be that you have a lot of spyware, etc loaded on there that you don't know about, etc. Every so often my husband just reimages my laptop and it takes care of all that laggy, buggy crap. It won't solve everything, but you'd be amazed, and maybe be able to put off buying a new one til you can save more money. You do have to reload all your software you might use back onto it, and it could be time consuming, but if you plan a day and do it, it might be worth it.

  2. Sometimes the oldest thing is the most reliable for being used for just one or two items.

    Before my current notebook (ASUS) I had a refurbished Dell that was about two years old when I bought in 2004. Wound up using it to just write and the household computer for everything else.

    Would still be writing with it today if the on/off button didn't stop working.

  3. Everyone has had a Freddy at some point in their life. Parting is such sweet sorrow. . .

  4. I am cracking up at the picture. LOL.