Sunday, January 24, 2010

Hatin on Doogie

Hey ya'll, today I am totes hatin on Doogie Howler. He is the only man in my life that has never let me down, and today he has failed me. Let me give you a visual image of this lil terror....he's 5 years old, 3lbs., Chihuahua. He NEVER barks. He spends most of his days sleepin, and he refuses to eat people food unless it's Nacho Doritos (his mothers fav.). Hell, Doogie refuses to eat even dog food unless it's Steak Moist and Meaty, or Snausages. With the exception of his picky food habits he is really low maintenance, which I love. He sleeps in until I wake him and he's magnificently potty trained.

For some reason today Doogie decided to be a real damn dog and cause some trouble. It started with him gorgin himself with his moist and meaty (which if you knew Doogie, that would normally make me happy). Unfortunately, he ate too damn much and too damn fast and ended up pukin right next to my damn couch! Next I walk into my damn love nest and see Doogie has knocked over the damn trash can, which is literally 3 times his height and size. This has spilled papers and old dog food crumbs EVERYWHERE! Insert mental picture of me on my hands and knees with my damn handy vac! Your girl Harlem looks to her right and what does she see now????? Dog pee! It's all over the side of the closet door seepin onto the carpet and in the closet track. This is a complete shock to me because Doogie is a male dog, but never once in his 5 years of livin has he EVER lifted his leg on anything. Never marked his territory...NOTHING! So he breaks his clean record of bein potty trained AND learns to lift his leg all on the same day...LOVELY! So much for low maintenance. Could someone point me in the direction of an animal shelter cause Doogie's goin to boarding school.

Lesson Of The Day: That's why boarding school/animal shelters were invented...for all bad boys, girls, and pets.

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