Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Hatin on Feelin

Could some hunky, tan, muscular, Lifeguard God come perform some damn CPR on your girl? I swear I've stopped breathing. Have you ever had that moment in life where you literally realize you are holding your breath? This morning before headin to the grease pit I realized that is exactly what I was doin. I have no idea for how long, but I suppose I am lucky to be alive. How come when I am swimmin underwater I can only hold it for a few seconds, but when you are in that moment of emotional pain you can hold it for minutes upon minutes?

I used to be this strong woman...actually bitter might be a more accurate word then strong. I didn't take any crap from anyone, but lately I find myself drowning in it. My tough exterior has been cracked and I am completely falling apart. I hate feelings. As lame as it may sound...I hate the "feeling" part of feelings. I wish I could literally remove my tear ducts because poor Doogie is about to float away. Hmmm, how come Doogie Howler is the only one in my life that has always been there for me? He's always around, always comforting, always loving unconditionally, and the poor chap has only been around 5 years (35 in doog yrs).

So, enough about my feelings and sadness and blah blah blah, lets amp this puppy up. I will just channel all of this shiz into something that will better me...like my new workout regime! At this pace I will be lookin like one of those damn Vikki Secrets models in a month or two. If you go to the beach and you see an uber hot chiclet rollin around on the sand, come say hi, cause it's your girl doin her part to make the beach look better!

Lesson Of The Day: We all need to remember that time does heal all wounds...maybe.

3 comments:

  1. It hurts to hurt. But you have to feel it to be able to get through it. Time does indeed heal all wounds.

    Pretty much.

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  2. Sheesh. You too? My tear ducts have been on overdrive. Soon it will be like the scene in Alice in Wonderland when she cries so much she ends up washing herself away. There's a metaphor in there somewhere. Congrats on the working out~!

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  3. If you feed sadness, it will only grow. Try to focus on the positive, how hard it seems (and sometimes pointless too). Also, do something! I once snapped from my depression by going to bed earlier, because in the night I always think very much and very deep. So don't give yourself the chance of thinking negative things so much. Get busy :).

    I hope this helps you. If it doesn't, find your own path :). And indeed, time heals all wounds, but you can shorten it ...

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