Thursday, June 16, 2011

Hatin On Buzz...

OMG ya'll did I do some major partyin last better damn believe it! I will have to say I hate my friend Buzz, the friend that clouds my judgement after I've had a few too many tequila shots. He may be fun, but is the only person that gets me to do some crazy arse shiz. For example, talkin at an octave that only Mariah Carey can hit. I become a lover when drunk, worse then Casanova. I hug and confess my love for everyone, even the ole pervy guys that walk into McD's...which still leaves the question, how'd they get to my neighborhood bar??? When Buzz visits my brain I manage to spend so much money. The next day I can't even remember how many drinks I bought, but my bank account won't stop screamin about the $400 I just spent!

When talking to peeps I remind myself constantly to focus on what they are saying, look them straight in the eyes (to hide the glaze that covers mine), and above all DO NOT slur your words. When I constantly remind myself of those things I forget to listen to what they are saying. Which makes me look away from their eyes to try and remember what they said. Which in turn makes my words jumbled because I am afraid they will think it's all because I'm drunk, when the real reason is I just wasn't paying attention in the first place! :sigh: I'm out of breath!

When Buzz visits I can't walk straight. I tried takin Doogie Howler and Liberty Bell out to the bathroom when I got home. I should've taken the elevator, but my mind told me the stairs were faster...bad idea! I was bounchin from wall to wall in the stairwell. Since I was carryin Doogie Howler I was tryin not to fall flat on my face, but I couldn't even feel the steps on my damn feet! Then when I finally went to sleep I woke up the next mornin and had no idea how I got into my PJs, how I set my alarm, and how I ate a half a bag of Doritos. I won't even mention all of the drunk texts/calls that were made! I mean for realz ya'll, Buzz makes me crazy!

For your enjoyment I have posted some drunk texts from other sorry losers when Buzz visited them. (See below).

Lesson Of The Day: Be cautious of Buzz, he's a back stabber!

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